Taking the initiative: Module 1

I took the initiative to share the gospel, leaving the results to God, and the results were mixed. I haven't been yelled at or spat upon, and most people share quite a bit about themselves. Sometimes someone prays to trust Christ.

My walk with God has been pretty good - but different with kids. I am not very well-rested in general, which affects my walk. My time is not very flexible. But I find that there are some great moments of spiritual connection with my girls.

Walking in the power of the Holy Spirit is an elusive goal. Sometimes I feel stuck in a cycle of my own power. Raising support is a good antidote for this.



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God's Servant

I am praying that God will use me as his servant by...

• connecting w/ the Ops team
• ministering to my supporters
• connecting in a ministering way with potential new supporters
• loving my wife and kids

God's Promises

I have found myself clinging to some promises of God this year, such as:
1. God will provide for me. It's so easy to view jobs that don't involve MPD as more secure. That's not true - actually God's provision is independent of economic flux - but it feels that way. He has sustained us financially during the recession, and still I doubt and am insecure.
2. He will never leave me or forsake me. Romans 3 comes to mind:

³What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness?⁴Not at all! Let God be true, and every man a liar.

And 2 Timothy 2:

¹¹Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with him,

we will also live with him;

¹²if we endure,

we will also reign with him.

If we disown him,

he will also disown us;

¹³if we are faithless,

he will remain faithful,

for he cannot disown himself.

Sometimes I feel adrift - actually fairly often these days, as my increased obligations combine with some poor choices to create a frustrating spiritual climate in me. God's promises are what I cling to as I push through my circumstances.

My participation in our WSN partnership has opened my eyes to opportunities to serve worldwide. Kerri and I are especially interested in Paris, as the spiritual climate there seems to be similar in some ways to NYC. Plus, it's Paris...

Tim Keller: Religion vs Christianity

I just finished an excerpt of a Tim Keller teaching, linked above [and password protected, sorry]. He makes some remarkable points about truly making a positive impact on American culture. I'll talk about two here:
1. Go to the city. Cities are what impact culture, even if (as in the U.S.) they represent a small proportion of the total population. When christians talk about declining morals in society, they're referencing urban influence, since a majority of suburban and rural Americans self-identify as evangelical or protestant christian (not true in cities like NYC). I've heard him say elsewhere that "the biblical narrative starts in a garden, but ends in a city". I think God has a special heart for cities.
2. Religion versus Christianity. Keller's incisive contrast here is both compelling and convicting. Click on the link and look at #2 for the list- if you're honest with yourself, probably you're like me and are often more religious than christian. He makes these points as a challenge to preach and live the Gospel, not just as a reaction to "liberal theology" but in opposition to religion. Whoa.

Role Model?

Because my life is a role model to other students, I am committed to...

1. Transparency. Appropriately, I hope. I want students and staff to feel that I am honest and open with them about my life - and frankly that's to my benefit, because then I have the opportunity to be corrected when I am in error.
2. Excellence. (Especially in what I produce, as excellence in my life is much more complicated.) I want to model attention to detail, because I believe that matters and is often lacking.
   
3. Processing my issues. This one is not directly related to being a role model (or shouldn't be). I want to not ignore patterns of sin in my life, but acknowledge them as a first step of asking God to intervene.

Seeing a new movement planted and growing makes me think of... the spiritual ripples that will result from a few faithful students who are committed to reaching their friends and peers. This is particularly poignant to me in the Northeast, because of the spiritual climate and potential influence of the students here.

Disappointment with God

When I feel disappointed with God, I remember (or try to) that I don't know the whole story. I'm also coming to realize that disappointment and anger don't have to speak against my relationship with God; rather, they are emotions to be worked through, and even to allow God to speak into eventually. After all, I may be mad, or upset, but He's still my Father. Of Note: I have not yet experienced the depth of disappointment that comes from the loss of a loved one, or tragedy, so my thoughts are essentially theory.

I have experienced God as...

A constant presence - comforting, "in it" with me, convicting when I rebel against him, and always loving. He is there - not in a creepy way, but like a part of me. My experience of life and the world is inevitably filtered through my relationship with God. That part requires little effort; the hard part is intentionally nurturing our relationship. I love God, but my actions and emotions are fickle.